The Relationship Quiz That Reveals Your Love Pattern
Take our short, confidential relationship quiz to discover your love pattern and get your Relationship Wisdom Score. Built by a couples therapist from insights gathered from over 41,000 people.
The Empathi Quiz Process
Engage
Take our quiz to explore your current experience of love and conflict.
Discover
Gain new perspectives about you, your partner, and your relationship.
Accept
Surrender to your true nature. Your partner is enough and so are you.
Reconnect
Feel more connected and gain empathy for yourself and your partner.
Repair
Learn to love and soothe each other. We all need and deserve it.
Self-Discovery Reports
Individualized reports for you and your partner share key relationship insights.
Relationship Report
A personalized report outlining the steps you should take for a better relationship.
Hints and Exercises
Regular emails tailored to you and your partner provide valuable relationship aids.
Exclusive Offers
Get special discounts and deals on Empathi courses and relationship counseling.
How the Empathi Relationship Quiz Works
Quiz FAQs
The Empathi Discovery Quiz was created as an alternative access point to Empathi’s relationship-healing wisdom, but the truth is, no self-help tools will be as effective or as efficient as the one-on-one guidance of a trained Empathi counselor.
To discover how we use these tools in counseling with one of our therapists, schedule a free consult.
Yes! You can retake the couple’s therapy quiz and it will update your reports with your new answers. When you’re logged in, click Settings, then select Retake Quiz. To get the most out of your reports, when you retake the quiz, take your time and just be as honest as you possibly can.
Empathi can help you no matter what your current relationship status is!
Although this initial launch of the Empathi Quiz speaks to a “couples experience,” you can still participate fully in the self-discovery process. When you take the quiz, have one important past relationship in mind.
To take it a step further and examine your former relationship system, invite your “partner” using a second email that you own, click the link in that invite, and then complete the quiz in the mind frame of your ex. This can be tricky, but just do your best. It’s not the same as getting the details from the real person, but we think it’s still possible to create a framework and use the reports as a tool to examine that past relationship through a more empathetic lens. The two completed quizzes activate the relationship report.
As a single person, you’ll also get a lot of value by listening to Figs’ podcast Come Here To Me, reading his articles, signing up for his online course, joining his membership group, and taking his in-person workshops.
After you take the quiz and are logged in, you can send an invite to your partner from your Dashboard, which you can find under your name in the Empathi header. There you will see Your Relationship Roadmap with tools to help you . Under Discover click Invite Partner. From the Invite page, add your partner’s email and a personal message, and then click Send Invitation.
Your partner will receive an email with a custom URL that links your Empathi accounts once your partner completes the quiz and creates an account.
Click the Sign In button in the header above. On the sign in page, click the Forgot Password? link. Then enter the email address you used when you created your Empathi.com account to receive instructions for resetting your password.
We recommend that you invite your partner to take the quiz.
In couples therapy the most important first task is to help a couple see that their relationship problems are systemic problems, not just one partner’s issues (as is commonly believed).
After your partner takes the Empathi Quiz, we combine your answers to provide you both with your own personalized Relationship System Report. You and your partner can then see your relationship through a new perspective and learn how to feel more connected to each other.
You are in this relationship together. And you can make it better together.
We will miss you! But …
To unsubscribe, first login and then from your personalized menu click Settings. When you are on the Settings page, click Notifications and then “uncheck” the email you want to unsubscribe from.
For the Empathi Prompts, we recommend that instead of unsubscribing, just reduce the frequency. The Prompts are an Empathi fan favorite for staying connected.
If you no longer wish to read your combined Relationship Report or receive email tips referencing your co-quiz-taker, visit Settings, select the Decouple tab, and click the Decouple button. Your Relationship Report will be deleted.
This action cannot be undone.
You will now be able to take the quiz with a new partner or enjoy the Empathi self-discovery process.
No. We will never share or sell your data with third parties. Our motivation in sharing this FREE Quiz and relationship discovery process with you is simple: we want to provide you with value so you will turn to us when you are in need of help or guidance in the future. That is all!
How Figlet Works
The story of every relationship.
The Pattern
Every couple has a pattern they can't see.
You love each other. But when disconnection happens, you both fall into the same dance. The same fight. The same silence. Over and over. Neither of you can see it from inside the loop.
The Cycle
One pursues. One withdraws. Both are hurting.
The pursuer reaches out harder. The withdrawer pulls away further. Each one's response makes the other's pain worse. It's not a character flaw. It's a cycle. And underneath it, you are both longing for the same thing: connection.
The Discovery
Your Discovery Quiz reveals your pattern in 3 minutes.
13 clinically designed questions map your attachment strategy. How you reach for connection. How you shut down. What you do when the person you love feels far away. Free, always.
Discovery Quiz
13 questions, 3 minutes
Your Creature
Jo or Pat. Pursuer or withdrawer.
The Report
Your Self-Discovery Report is a clinical portrait of how you love.
Figlet synthesizes your quiz answers into a personalized report: your reactive patterns, your vulnerable emotions underneath them, and the unmet attachment needs driving your behavior. Not generic. Yours. Free.
Your partner gets their own — also free.
Self-Discovery Report
Reactive patterns. Vulnerable emotions. Unmet needs.
Invite your partner — free
The Score
Your Wisdom Score shows how clearly you see what's really happening.
Figlet walks you through four doors of relational awareness: your vulnerability, your reactivity, your partner's vulnerability, and your partner's reactivity. Scored 0 to 100. Retake anytime to track your growth.
figlet
Wisdom ScoreYours after the quiz
Your AI Coach
Figlet in your pocket. 24/7. On demand.
Ongoing 1:1 coaching with Figlet, available any time you need it. A clinically grounded AI coach that knows your attachment pattern, your creature, your reactive cycle — and uses that to guide every conversation.
Stuck in a loop at 11pm? Processing after a hard conversation? Figlet is there.
Figlet
The Debrief
Bring a fight to Figlet. See what was really happening.
The Disconnection Debrief is a focused coaching session where you describe a specific argument or moment of disconnection. Figlet helps you understand what was happening underneath — the fear, the longing, the unmet need — and finds the path to repair.
Not just "why did we fight." What each of you was really reaching for.
Disconnection Debrief
One fight. Unpacked. Path to repair found.
The Repair
Repair Together (Beta): both of you, one conversation, guided by Figlet.
When you are both ready, enter the same coaching session together. Figlet guides you through four gates: seeing the cycle you are both caught in, accessing what's vulnerable underneath your reactivity, understanding your impact on each other, and repairing the rupture.
01
See the cycle
Name the loop you are both stuck in, from both sides
02
Access vulnerability
Move under reactivity to the fear and longing driving it
03
Understand your impact
Hear how your behavior lands on your partner — and be heard
04
Repair
Reach for each other with honesty and openness
You
Figlet guides
Your partner
The System
See both sides of your negative cycle — together.
The Relationship System Report combines both your data and your partner's. Figlet shows exactly how your patterns interact to create the negative cycle — the repeating loop of reactivity you both get caught in. Not just your side. The whole picture.
This is the map. Once you can see the cycle clearly, you can step out of it.
Relationship System Report
Both patterns. One map. The whole cycle, visible.
The Human Touch
Real therapists. Real questions. Answered personally.
Figs and Teale — Figlet's founders and certified EFT couples therapists — answer your questions directly, bringing 30 years of combined clinical experience to your inbox.
Plus: 10 Seconds to Love Better — a weekly micro-prompt based on your quiz data, delivered every Tuesday. One small thing, specific to your pattern.
Figs & Teale Answer Your Questions
30 years combined experience
10 Seconds to Love Better
Weekly. Personalized. Tuesdays.
Red Flags in Relationships
Recognizing red flags is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship dynamic. While every partnership faces challenges, certain behaviors can signal an unhealthy or even abusive relationship. Over four decades of extensive research into romantic relationships have shown that issues like lack of respect, poor communication, and controlling actions can undermine the foundation of a successful relationship.
Red flags may appear as subtle patterns such as a partner dismissing your feelings, consistently ignoring your boundaries, or making you feel guilty for expressing your needs. In more overt cases, they can include threats, manipulation, or any form of abuse. These warning signs often erode trust and make it difficult to communicate openly, which are two of the most important components of a healthy relationship.
It’s important to remember that a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, honest communication, and support for each other’s life dreams and desires. If you notice persistent unhealthy dynamics, such as feeling afraid to disagree, being isolated from friends and family, or experiencing frequent criticism, it may be time to reflect on your current relationship and seek guidance. Recognizing these red flags early can help you protect your well-being and create space for a partnership that truly supports your happiness and growth.
Or take the Conflict Solution Course
and discover a better way to love.
Try Figlet AI Coach
Get your free Relationship Wisdom Score — a 15-minute AI-powered assessment that reveals how clearly you see yourself, your partner, and your pattern.
Get Your Free Score → Built by Figs & Teale • 41,000+ relationshipsEvery couple has a pattern they cannot see. Find yours.
In love, each of you is a Relentless or a Reluctant, which makes you one of three kinds of couple: Relentless and Reluctant, two Relentless, or two Reluctant. The free quiz reveals your creatures and the cycle they fall into together. About three minutes.
No signup needed to start.
The Relentless
The Reluctant