The other reviewers nailed it. When my husband and I first searched for a couples therapist, I thought for sure my husband would feel more comfortable with a female. But after reading these reviews, we both decided Figs was The One. And he absolutely is. We could not ask for a better therapist, a better experience. I feel like I have my best friend back. I enjoy weekends now. We’re a more cohesive parenting team. We can be vulnerable with each other and love each other because of the work we’ve done here. Each hour we spend with Figs is incredibly productive and effective. When we first started, I remember thinking, “God, this is expensive. I hope it helps.” Let me tell you, it has. It’s so worthwhile. This will change your life. Good luck!

This review is long overdue as my husband and I have stopped seeing Figs since May 2014.

We started seeing Figs on a weekly basis in November 2013. At first, it was a little awkward talking about our feelings as it is not encouraged in our culture. But Figs provides a comfortable and safe environment for you to let go. He even helps you put your feelings into words because honestly these things are hard to explain sometimes. Eventually the arguments and eye rolling turned into calm discussions of our innermost feelings. Figs is very neutral and will not side with one or the other. In addition, we occasionally did some exercises and had some homework which were very helpful. After only a couple sessions, my husband and I went from sitting on opposite ends of the sofa, to sitting next to each other and leaving the session holding hands.

Although we did not finish the program, I am so glad that my husband and I took this step to see a counselor. Our relationship has improved so much and I can honestly say that I am happily married. The sessions not only helped me learn more about my relationship with my husband, but also more about him, and myself on a personal level. Thank you Figs!

Three years into dating, my boyfriend and I started thinking about a long term future together that would hopefully include graduate school and a family. Heeding the advice of my marriage role models – a couple living a nearly mythical level of marital and parental success – we started searching for a couples therapist to help us strengthen ourselves in preparation for some big life changes.

We found Figs through yelp and booked a counseling consult. He explains his methods during the first session, but he essentially uses psychotherapy techniques to help you explore your relationship as your “primary bond” in the world and the foundation to your happiness. With this in mind, he helps you examine hurtful cycles of interaction to see what emotions we keep hidden, sometimes even from ourselves, beneath the actual arguments.

Personally, the self awareness and humility needed to dissect myself emotionally isn’t always easy to access, but Figs is a patient and intuitive guide. He is funny, genuine and attentive, conversational without being distracting and shares enough of his life back that you feel connected and understood.

The real magic is that by exploring the negative cycles, you learn how to recognize them so you can stop them sooner and sooner. Learning about the vulnerabilities that make you and your partner defensive really serve as an impetus – when both of your shields are down you realize just how much you don’t want to hurt the person you love.

And the best part? It works. We walk away from sessions with what we call “therapy high.” Actively investing in your relationship feels fundamentally GOOD. We are more loving, affectionate and communicative than ever before and find ourselves resolving the now occasional fight before it has a chance to grow teeth.

We have Figs to thank for this and can’t recommend him and his techniques enough.

I started seeing Figs with my boyfriend (now fiance) after one very rough first year of our relationship. We went into it hoping to get a few tools for communicating so that we’d stop getting into many hour long fights over the same topics, but came out with a level of closeness I honestly didn’t ever expect that I could have with anyone. We now see Figs only intermittently but constantly use his language anytime we get into a rough patch.

In addition to all of this, Figs changed my way of seeing people in general. I am able to be more compassionate to myself, and am able to see other people going through their own pain even when they’re at their worst.

Figs sympathetically and wholeheartedly brought us to a place of resurrection in our marriage. I never dreamed we would need a therapist, nor did I think my husband would actually go searching for one via my request. Surprisingly enough, we both ended up choosing Figs while independently searching online. It was meant to be.
Of course, after just shaking hands with Figs, we knew he was a perfect fit. He was down to earth, honest, kind, real. He made us feel at home with our thoughts and feelings, however ugly or embarrassing they seemed. We actually made huge progress just after the first session, and then after the second, even more positivity transpired. For the first time in 10 years, I felt we were able to really see each other and walk away with even more love and respect for one another. Figs gave us the tools and the hope to keep our marriage a great one.

We started seeing Figs four months ago. We’re still so grateful Figs fit us into an evening session right away because we were on the verge of breaking up. By the end of that first session my partner and I both left feeling SO much lighter and SO much more hopeful – I’m still amazed by the turnaround.

Figs uses touching and funny stories to illustrate patterns we’re playing out. His humor combined with a genuine concern for our wellbeing make us both feel relaxed and safe in the sessions. Later, when we’re on our own, we remind each other of something silly Figs said to help break the tension if we start to fall back into a familiar cycle.

There’s never any sense of Figs taking sides; he’s so good about feeling the struggles we’re both experiencing. He gets to the heart of what’s really going on incredibly quickly so we avoid rehashing and re-hurting each other. Figs doesn’t let us dwell in the details of an argument but instead guides us back to connecting.

We’ve learned so much in the short amount of time we’ve been with Figs. My partner and I actually got engaged halfway through these sessions; a huge testament to how much more connected we are now than when we started.

I highly (like, super highly) recommend seeing Figs. Even if it seems too late. Even if counseling has a stigma that makes you uncomfortable. As soon as you meet Figs, that all fades away and you can get back to feeling close with the person you love most.

I was looking for a couples counselor for my partner and I in the Fall of 2012 and was referred to Figs, who came highly recommended by a good friend of mine. When my partner ultimately balked at the idea, I decided to check Figs out as a possible therapist for myself. I was experiencing some fairly profound angst around the direction and purpose of my life and was feeling disempowered, disconnected and stuck. I also thought if I helped myself, it might also benefit my relationship.

Figs is warm, genial and generous in spirit. He is very insightful and will take you to deep places if you’re willing. I tend to be resistant, so the changes for me have been quiet and gradual. Yet the results are nonetheless remarkable. It was if I awoke one day to realize that everything had shifted and that I was well on my way to accomplishing all the goals I had set out to accomplish.

In 11 months, there has been dramatic movement and improvement. I’m living from a more conscious place and consistently experiencing more wellness and balance; my attitude is positive; I’m pursuing new interests; tapping into more creativity; better managing my time; doing work that I love (and earning more money); setting healthier boundaries; I’m taking better care of and have a higher appreciation and regard for myself; I’m feeling good spiritually, emotionally and energetically and my health is great; life is good!

Of course Figs didn’t do any of that, I did. What Figs did was support and help facilitate it. And I was a willing participant who has done much self-improvement work on and off over my 58 years, so I came in with an excellent foundation

Oh, and I’d be remiss if I failed to mention that my partner and I are just now in couples counseling and having rapid success with someone that Figs referred us to (seeing Figs with my partner would have been inappropriate) who specializes in EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) which is one of Figs’ specialties as well. Thank you, Figs!

After trying out a couple of different couples therapists in the area, my partner and I are so glad that we found Figs and Empathi. We were seeking support in navigating some of the transitions involved in being a newly married couple, and Figs instantly put us at ease, making us both feel understood – something that we hadn’t yet experienced with other therapists. We really appreciated the combination of active participation and compassion that he brought to our sessions, which helped my partner and I to deepen really quickly into a better understanding of one another’s experience. We can proudly say that since counseling with Figs, we have noticed that our disagreements are far less frequent, and when we have them, we are able to come to resolution more quickly. I have even noticed that we bring more vulnerability to our positive interactions, too. If you are on the fence about whether or not couples counseling might be for you, (because let’s face it, it can be an investment of time, energy and money!) I would definitely encourage you to try out a session with Figs! For us, it was 100% worth it, and we can’t thank you enough.

Frankly, I found Figs using a Yelp search looking for couples counseling around lower Pac Heights, and his old location was ideal geographically. My girlfriend and I reviewed his website, and signed up for our first appointment about a year ago.

I have had individual psychotherapy with mixed results, but relationship counseling was a first for both me and my girlfriend. The approach is emotionally based with the key assumption that the relationship you have with your partner is your primary emotional bond and foundational to your well being.

The results of therapy with Figs have been transformative both individually and for our relationship. Figs worked patiently with us in a building process to understand many truths of our interactions together, and “the cycle” we would find ourselves in. Once “the cycle” was set in motion, reason and logic failed, and the two of us were certain to feel angry, sad, abandoned and isolated. Our different, interlocking roles in this cycle were uncovered a dissected as Figs trained us to recognize the perennial roller coaster of misery. Though our sessions with him, simple homework assignments, and a few months of consistent weekly visits, my partner and I became able to recognize what was happening, break the cycle, and avoid the same old painful pattern.

Our relationship has blossomed as a result, and our home is a safer, more peaceful, supporting and loving environment. Our most painful relationship issues seem to have evaporated, and the road ahead looks better than ever thanks to Figs!

I superlatively recommend Figs for couples counseling. I suspect he would also be an extraordinary individual psychotherapist.

Figs is hands down the best therapist I’ve ever been to for either individual or couples counseling. He’s incredibly effective – I’ve made more progress working with him in an hour than I have with other therapists for months. He gets to the root of what’s going on inside of you. And in relationship counseling he’s got an amazing ability to identify the pattern of interaction going on between you, and help you understand how and why you are reacting to your partner – and to change your dynamic with understanding,love and compassion. I couldn’t possibly give him a higher recommendation – he’s so worth it.

My husband and I found Figs via Yelp after reading all of the wonderful reviews. At first, I was a little skeptical, being my first time and all. Wasn’t sure how this works and not sure what’ll happen. But We are both very happy that we’ve found Figs to be our counselor. My husband is not very into this whole “counseling” thing, but Figs made him open up and he felt very comfortable, he didn’t mind talking about his feelings at all.
Figs is extremely patient, calm and uses the best analogy to help you understand complex emotions. It was like receiving a psychology 101 lesson from him which could be applied to every relationship out there. I feel like I’ve learned a lot about what people’s basic wants and needs are, as well as how to overcome the hardship when feeling rejection.
I felt much lighter after every session, and got a little emotional during the session, which was perfect because that’s what this is all about – is to express your internal feelings to someone you never met before, and hearing yourself talk about it makes a huge difference.
Anyways, my husband and I have never been better now. We’re really grateful that we have met Figs and went to him, thank you so much Figs!

I’ve only been to one other therapist, and it was a horrible, bizarre experience. So I was pretty skeptical about seeing a different therapist for couples therapy. Figs is kind, considerate, and encourages you to drive your own healing during the process. I would highly recommend, especially to the skeptics!

Figs saved our relationship. Then he saved it again. And again. He’s the best couples counselor in the business. His psychotherapy strategy is so damn simple that it feels silly, obvious, or trite. But wait for it. Because it’s the most developed, deeply touching philosophy I’ve ever experienced. I’d seen about 10 therapists on my own, personally, in the past. Some were good, some not. None fundamentally changed the way I see the world. Figs fundamentally changed the way I see the world. He helped us discover our cycles of interaction. He showed us how those cycles repeat. And he gave us the tools and techniques necessary to recognize them in ourselves and point them out to each other. Maybe it’s ok to feel bad for a bit! Maybe it’s ok to let your partner feel bad! Maybe it’s ok to discover how both of you feel bad, where that comes from, and what it means to connect with the other person on that deep a level.

The work my partner and I do with Figs changed not only our relationship. I actually have much more understanding and compassion at the workplace, with my friends, with strangers. I feel equipped to work with people whom in the past I would simply have written off as “”impossible”” coworkers. I come to work with a better attitude and I get more done because I’m secure in both my relationship with my partner (which was deeply affecting my work life) and my relationships with everyone else at the office. Managers many levels my senior and friends maturer than I have asked me for advice on interpersonal issues because they can see the affect of Figs’s work.

What more could you possibly want from a couples counselor? He’s got it all.

You will get out of one session with Figs what it would take 10 sessions with any other therapist. You actually feel like you are ‘getting somewhere’ and not just doing never-ending talk therapy for weeks/months/years.

He has the capacity to migrate straight to the issue without any trace of harshness or judgment. With great compassion and wisdom he gently allows you to see that your true power and essence lies in your vulnerability and when you come from that part of yourself, all things fall into place. When you leave you feel compassion for yourself and for everyone in your life, this is especially crucial for anyone considering couples therapy or relationship therapy.

Every once in a while you run across someone who is doing the work they were put on this earth to do. Figs is one of those people. He is truly gifted at what he does, and I am grateful for having found him.

Figs came highly recommended and boy did he live up to the hype. He’s remarkable at getting right to the core of issues and helping you quickly resolve any conflicts and understand your partner better. He’s also an absolute Jedi when it comes to helping you understand yourself and what you’re bringing into a relationship. We had tried other couples counselors in the past without much success and WOW was Figs different. We only did a few months with Figs and he set us on such an incredible path. He’s certainly not the cheapest but you’ll end up saving money because you get so much value from him in each session. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that one session with figs could easily equal 5-10 sessions with another couples therapist. Can’t thank him enough and HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

Figs isn’t a therapist, he is a magician; he is the frigging “Couples Whisperer.”

My wife and I were at the verge of separation and already had an appointment with a mediator to sort our complicated life out when, as a “last ditch effort,” I searched for therapists and found Figs here on Yelp and a little video blog of him talking about relationships with his wife. I was intrigued.

My wife and I have tried couples therapy in the past with mixed results and my wife was not at all interested in giving it another go. However I managed to convince her to go to one session to just see what happens.

Therapy with Figs was totally different.

We weren’t hashing over a bunch of “he-said she-said” arguments, trying to win over the therapist. Rather, Figs showed us how all our arguing, hurt feeling and misery were a result of two people who love one another who are not meeting the other’s emotional needs– this was sending us into a spiral were best intentions tended to land flat.

His method focuses on our process, and we realized that we never actually didn’t love another, we were just failing to give each other what we needed.

We learned that each of our basic needs and perceptions are wholly different from our partner’s. By interpreting things from our own point of view we were missing what our partner actually needed and this was causing hurt feelings.

I now actually understand what my wife wants and she understands what I want. All our behaviors and fighting fit, incredibly neatly, into the treatment paradigm.

Marriage is rolling along quite happily now. We still have our arguments, but rather than lasting for days or weeks, we usually snap out of it in minutes or at most a couple hours.

One more thing about Figs– he has one of the best senses of humor I’ve experienced in a person and a deep empathy for others. We always have a hearty laugh at his examples our ourselves as we understand the paradigm better and see ourselves in our process.

We always leave with more joy in our hearts than when we arrived.

Thank you, Figs!!!

We love Figs! He is our safe place. We are so grateful he saved our 20-year relationship.

My husband is an old school, blue collar, DIY kind of guy. He had been resistant to therapy for years. Once I got him into Fig’s office, his resistance instantly dissipated.

Figs does not take sides. He slows us down and facilitates our genuinely seeing conflicts from our partner’s perspective. He gently elucidates both partners’ contribution to the breakdown of the relationship.

On sessions when we were not in a fight, Figs conducted wonderful exercises to facilitate deeper understanding between partners. Occasionally, we met with Figs individually. These sessions were check-ins re how the process was going for us. They also encouraged healthy self development.

Figs is efficient, effective, and no nonsense. He does not intend to see couples indefinitely. After he finds that our work is complete, he lovingly sends us off.

His expertise in moderating and controlling the conversation is amazing. Instead of the usual 50-minute session, he spends the full hour with us, sometimes more, at no additional cost. He is also always responsive over email re scheduling.

Thank you, Figs! Big hug to your loyal doodle Zephyr. We loved having him there with us on occasions you brought him into the office.