Individual & Couples Counseling in San Francisco & Beyond
Repair your relationship without losing yourself. Specialized counseling for founders, high-performers, and couples who want more than just "communication tools".
Living Proof of Work: Why We Get It.
By Fiachra "Figs" O'Sullivan
I didn’t come to this work because therapy fascinated me. I came because my own strategies for success stopped working at home.
Like many of the clients we see for couples counseling in San Francisco, I was capable, articulate, and productive. From the outside, things looked fine. But inside, my body was always braced. My relationship felt like another high-stakes project I was trying not to fail.
Teale and I aren’t just clinicians; we are a real married couple living inside these questions ourselves. We know the specific pain of being intelligent, devoted, and successful in the world, yet struggling to find that same ease with each other.
If your relationship works on paper but feels strained in private, you are in the right place.
Research shows that 86% of couples improve after a brief period of EFT guidance and 73% have maintained their improvements when we check back in two years later.
There Is Hope. Repair Is Possible.
Most couples feel a shift in the very first session.
Research shows that 86% of couples improve after a brief period of EFT guidance and 73% have maintained their improvements when we check back in two years later.
Begin the Empathi Process
using Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy and the Empathi Method.
Acceptance
The hardest part is just getting started.
Alliance
Feel like you're on the same team again.
Empathy
See the hurt and love behind their reactivity.
Vulnerability
Share the hurt the love behind your reactivity.
Connection
Feel deeply and securely bonded to one another.
Resilience
Rely on your bond to get out of stuck moments.
What's a 'Figs'? Isn't 'Teale' a color?
Two unique names. One shared obsession: Making relationships work.
Hi there! We are Figs and Teale, husband and wife, parents to a busy family, and the co-architects of the Empathi Method.
We know that sitting on a therapist’s couch can feel clinical. That’s why we offer something different: We are a married team of experts. We don’t just study relationship dynamics in a textbook; we live them in our own kitchen, with our own kids, and our own “Waltz of Pain.”
Love is messy. Your roadmap shouldn't be.
We built Empathi because we felt the same thing you might be feeling: Traditional therapy was too soft, and life was too hard.
We needed a method that wasn’t just “supportive listening,” but a practical, neurological roadmap back to connection. Something reliable enough for the hardest moments of marriage and deep enough to last a lifetime.
So we built it. And now, we use it to help thousands of couples, and ourselves, find the way back to “Us.”
People are complicated. Therapy shouldn't be.
Humans—all chemicals and neurons and wounding wrapped up in a beautiful, electric mess—can be pretty confusing, even for therapists.
But there is one thing we know to be true: Human beings need each other.
This is the underlying force that brought us together as partners, craving flavors of love previously unmet—and as therapists, seeking reliable, deeply effective methods.
From this core truth, grounded in science and lived in our own home, Empathi was born.
We are
passionate about healing relationships.
We are actively engaged therapists committed to helping you reconnect and discover that loving feeling.
- Feel safe to be your true self in life and love.
- Heal from recent or past grief and loss.
- Connect in a deeper and more authentic way.
- Stop having the same argument(s) over and over again.
- Avoid being disappointed in each other so much.
- Recover from infidelity or another breach of trust.
- Get back to experiencing joy, laughter, and fun together.
- Work on your relationship even though your partner doesn't seem available.
Read Figs and Teale's
reviews on Yelp
Check out our clients with this direct and unedited feed from our Yelp page.
Read our reviews on Yelp
How Figlet Works
The story of every relationship.
The Pattern
Every couple has a pattern they can't see.
You love each other. But when disconnection happens, you both fall into the same dance. The same fight. The same silence. Over and over. Neither of you can see it from inside the loop.
The Cycle
One pursues. One withdraws. Both are hurting.
The pursuer reaches out harder. The withdrawer pulls away further. Each one's response makes the other's pain worse. It's not a character flaw. It's a cycle. And underneath it, you are both longing for the same thing: connection.
The Discovery
Your Discovery Quiz reveals your pattern in 3 minutes.
13 clinically designed questions map your attachment strategy. How you reach for connection. How you shut down. What you do when the person you love feels far away. Free, always.
Discovery Quiz
13 questions, 3 minutes
Your Creature
Jo or Pat. Pursuer or withdrawer.
The Report
Your Self-Discovery Report is a clinical portrait of how you love.
Figlet synthesizes your quiz answers into a personalized report: your reactive patterns, your vulnerable emotions underneath them, and the unmet attachment needs driving your behavior. Not generic. Yours. Free.
Your partner gets their own — also free.
Self-Discovery Report
Reactive patterns. Vulnerable emotions. Unmet needs.
Invite your partner — free
The Score
Your Wisdom Score shows how clearly you see what's really happening.
Figlet walks you through four doors of relational awareness: your vulnerability, your reactivity, your partner's vulnerability, and your partner's reactivity. Scored 0 to 100. Retake anytime to track your growth.
figlet
Wisdom ScoreYours after the quiz
Your AI Coach
Figlet in your pocket. 24/7. On demand.
Ongoing 1:1 coaching with Figlet, available any time you need it. A clinically grounded AI coach that knows your attachment pattern, your creature, your reactive cycle — and uses that to guide every conversation.
Stuck in a loop at 11pm? Processing after a hard conversation? Figlet is there.
Figlet
The Debrief
Bring a fight to Figlet. See what was really happening.
The Disconnection Debrief is a focused coaching session where you describe a specific argument or moment of disconnection. Figlet helps you understand what was happening underneath — the fear, the longing, the unmet need — and finds the path to repair.
Not just "why did we fight." What each of you was really reaching for.
Disconnection Debrief
One fight. Unpacked. Path to repair found.
The Repair
Repair Together — both of you, one conversation, guided by Figlet.
When you are both ready, enter the same coaching session together. Figlet guides you through four gates: seeing the cycle you are both caught in, accessing what's vulnerable underneath your reactivity, understanding your impact on each other, and repairing the rupture.
01
See the cycle
Name the loop you are both stuck in, from both sides
02
Access vulnerability
Move under reactivity to the fear and longing driving it
03
Understand your impact
Hear how your behavior lands on your partner — and be heard
04
Repair
Reach for each other with honesty and openness
You
Figlet guides
Your partner
The System
See both sides of your negative cycle — together.
The Relationship System Report combines both your data and your partner's. Figlet shows exactly how your patterns interact to create the negative cycle — the repeating loop of reactivity you both get caught in. Not just your side. The whole picture.
This is the map. Once you can see the cycle clearly, you can step out of it.
Relationship System Report
Both patterns. One map. The whole cycle, visible.
The Human Touch
Real therapists. Real questions. Answered personally.
Figs and Teale — Figlet's founders and certified EFT couples therapists — answer your questions directly, bringing 30 years of combined clinical experience to your inbox.
Plus: 10 Seconds to Love Better — a weekly micro-prompt based on your quiz data, delivered every Tuesday. One small thing, specific to your pattern.
Figs & Teale Answer Your Questions
30 years combined experience
10 Seconds to Love Better
Weekly. Personalized. Tuesdays.
Meet Figlet AI Coach
Break the cycle. Find each other again.
Relationship Quiz
13 questions. 15 minutes. Map how you connect, how you fight, and what drives you underneath.
- Discover your creature persona
- See your relationship pattern
- Pursuer or withdrawer type
Wisdom Score
AI scores your relationship clarity across four doors: vulnerability and reactivity, yours and your partner's.
- Scored out of 100
- Retake monthly to track growth
- Personalized AI conversation
10 Seconds to Love Better
A new personalized coaching prompt every week, tailored to your unique relationship pattern.
- New prompt every week
- Personalized to your pattern
- Quick, actionable coaching
Disconnection Debrief
Had a fight? Walk through all 12 elements of what really happened. Land where you both make sense.
- Debrief any fight with Figlet
- Unlimited debriefs included
- Companion coaching included
Built on 41,000 real relationships & 20 years of clinical experience
Not ready for counseling?
Get Started with the Empathi Quiz
Take our short, confidential quiz to learn about your relationship strategies and receive these complimentary tools:
Self-Discovery Report
An individualized report for you and your partner shares key relationship insights.
Relationship Report
A personalized report outlines the steps you can take for a better relationship.
Hints and Exercises
Regular emails tailored to you and your partner provide valuable relationship aids.
Exclusive Offers
Special discounts and deals on Figs and Teale’s courses and relationship counseling.
"With Empathi, Figs has created a fun and creative way to help people feel more connected in their relationship and to become acquainted with the transformational power of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy."
Dr. Sue Johnson
Creator of Emotionally-Focused Therapy for Couples
Find the Right Therapy
Services For Your Situation
Marriage Counseling
- Move from "Roommates" to "Sovereign Us." Stop managing a household and start building a life.
- End the "Drift." Reconnect after years of parenting, career focus, and parallel lives.
- Navigate the "Parent Subsystem." Learn to be great parents without losing your identity as partners.
- Deepen Sexual & Emotional Intimacy. Move beyond functional partnership into secure, passionate attachment.
- Future-Proof Your Bond. Build the resilience to weather life transitions, aging, and career shifts together.
Couples Therapy
- Stop the "Waltz of Pain." Break the exhausting cycle of criticism, defending, and withdrawal.
- De-escalate High-Conflict Fights. Learn to regulate your nervous systems so you can actually hear each other.
- Recover from Betrayal. Navigate infidelity or breaches of trust with a structured path to repair.
- Engage the Reluctant Partner. Create safety for the partner who usually shuts down or avoids therapy.
- Decide Your Future. Gain the clarity needed to either recommit fully or separate with integrity.
Couples Therapy
for Parents
- Escape the "Parent Trap." Stop being just "Co-Managers" of a family and remember you are partners.
- Align Your Parenting Scripts. Navigate differences in how you were raised so you can parent as a united front.
- Protect the "Parent Subsystem." Learn why putting your marriage first is actually the best thing you can do for your kids.
- Stop the "Tag-Team" Fatigue. Move from passing the baton to sharing the load.
- Model Healthy Love. Show your children what a secure, repairing relationship actually looks like.
Individual Relationship
Therapy Services
- Understand Your "Waltz." Discover why you keep attracting the same dynamic, even with different partners.
- Heal the "Adaptive Child." Work through the old survival strategies that are sabotaging your adult relationships.
- Break the Cycle. Stop waiting for a partner to fix you; start becoming the partner you want to be.
- Recover from a Breakup. Process the grief of a lost relationship without closing your heart to the next one.
- Reclaim Your Self-Esteem. Separate your worth from your relationship status.
Serving San Francisco & The Bay Area
Whether you are in Pacific Heights or Palo Alto, or joining us from New York or Seattle, we bring the same level of care, privacy, and expertise to your relationship.
Marriage Counseling
Couples Therapy
Your Relationship Is Worth The Work.
You have the love. We have the map. Let's stop the drift and get you back on the same team.
Or start with our confidential Empathi Assessment to identify your specific “Waltz of Pain” in 5 minutes.
Being Human in an Unstable World
SOVEREIGN GROUND
The world is chaotic. Your internal life doesn’t have to be.
Get an exclusive preview of the upcoming manifesto from Figs O’Sullivan. Read the first chapter today and discover why even the most successful people lose their footing and how to find it again.
Latest Article
The Pursue-Withdraw Pattern: How AI Spots It Before Your Therapist Does
The pursue-withdraw pattern is the most common relational cycle in distressed couples. One partner moves toward with increasing intensity. The other pulls away with increasing distance. And both partners are convinced that the other one is the problem. Research suggests
Featured Podcast
Come Here To Me
“Back From Betrayal”
From years-long affairs to smaller breaks in trust, Karen and Figs explain how they are able to bring couples back from the brink after betrayal.
Podcast Appearance
Bitcoin for Millenials
“Therapist Exposes The #1 Reason People Reject Bitcoin”
Figs’ unique perspective bridges the psychology of human connection with the psychology of monetary awakening and exploring how pain drives transformation in both domains. Hosted by Bram Kanstein.
FIGS & TEALE’S RESOURCES
Empathi
Discovery Quiz
Take our short, confidential couple’s therapy quiz to receive an insightful personalized report.
FIGS & TEALE’S RESOURCES
The Conflict Solution Course
See your relationship in a new light with the 16 transformative chapters of Figs’ flagship course.
FIGS & TEALE’S RESOURCES
Therapists Trained by Figs & Teale
With at least 2 years of direct training + monthly meetings with Figs and/or Teale, these therapists are the real deal.
Join Figs’ Newsletter
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