Couples Therapy Oakland
Marriage
Counseling
That Works
in Oakland
Reclaim Your Bond and Find Stable Ground
I created every one of these responses by taking the core concerns of couples in Oakland, putting them one by one into my library of work, and then shaping them to ensure they hold the same raw, emotional, and Irish-grounded truth you’d hear sitting across from me in a session.
The Waltz of Pain in the East Bay
You didn’t come to Oakland to feel alone while sitting on the same couch. Maybe you’re successful on paper, checking all the boxes of adulthood, but underneath, your chest is tight. When the person you depend on turns away or disappears into their thoughts, your nervous system doesn’t say, “That’s interesting.” It says, “I am in danger.”
At Empathi, we help you see that the partner you love is not your enemy the “Waltz of Pain” you co-create together is the real problem.
We are extremely selective about which therapists are invited to join our practice.
Each of our therapists are trained to use our proprietary blend of the Empathi Method and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). We’ll help you understand both your intrapersonal and interpersonal struggles in a way that guides you to communicate better, repair after fights, and feel more deeply and securely connected.
Clinical research shows that 86% of couples improve after a brief period of EFT guidance, and 73% have maintained their improvements when we check back two years later.
With Empathi Couples Therapy You Will…
- Get back to experiencing joy, laughter, and fun together
- Connect in a deeper and more authentic way
- Recognize the negative cycles you create together
- Stop being so disappointed in each other
- Navigate sex life changes
- Empathize with each other around stressful conflicts
- Weather difficult times together
There’s no quick fix for repairing a relationship if there were, no one would suffer in love but there is a process that works.
Stop struggling. Book your call now.
Our Approach: Emotionally Focused Therapy with "Sprinkles"
Teale and I are husband-and-wife couples therapists who don’t just teach this work; we live it. Our practice is built on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) the gold standard of relational repair but with our own proprietary Empathi protocol layered on top.
We aren’t technicians; we are craftspeople. We don’t just give you “communication skills” to paper over the cracks. We guide you through the Making-a-C Process, moving from the heat of reactivity down into the vulnerability where real repair happens.
Do I need Empathi marriage counseling?
When a couple shares that special bond that leads them to marriage, they often approach it with the belief that their relationship is special—it will stand the test of time, with or without pre-marriage counseling, because together they can get through anything.
As time passes, this idealism can gradually fade into a pessimistic view toward marriage and relationships in general. Somewhere along the line, the feelings and enthusiasm that brought them together changed into question, “Why are we even still together?”
If you’ve reached a place in your marriage where you and your spouse are asking yourselves that question, it doesn’t have to be the end of the road for your relationship. This question gives you the opportunity to explore each other and reconnect. With quality marriage counseling, you’ll come to ask yourselves, “Why did we even question ourselves?”
Reach out to Empathi today. Our experienced marital counselors can help you re-engage and find your way back to a relationship that’s even better than the one you started with.
Why Oakland Couples Choose Empathi
- The Body is the First Ledger: Your relationship isn’t just a series of conversations; it’s a biological record-keeping system. We help you settle the nervous system threat so you can actually hear each other again.
- Connection Before Correction: Most couples try to skip straight to a solution for their content fights. It never works. You need the 20 minutes of emotional connection before the solution can stick.
- Empathi Squared ($Empathi^2$): We move you from “me versus you” to “us versus the cycle.” This means compassion for me, compassion for you, and compassion for us all at once.
Common Struggles We Resolve
The Relentless vs. Reluctant Lover: One partner reaches out in protest (“Why don’t I matter?”), while the other retreats for safety (“I’m never enough”). We name the loop and find the exit.
Emotional Fiat: When self-worth is printed on credit rather than backed by the “proof of work” of real vulnerability and repair.
The Workaholic Shadow: Using achievement and work as a “safe protest” while the emotional connection at home goes cold.
Here are the ways we make it easy:
- Our licensed counselors are experienced in making clients feel at home.
- Empathi eases you into the process by providing a quiz to get at the heart of what is troubling your marriage.
- There's no need to fear the unknown. Give a listen to our podcast It's a fun way to gain insights in what to expect from marriage counseling sessions.
Acceptance
The hardest part is just getting started.
Healing starts with accepting you need help, booking a free consult, and showing up as you are. Everything that comes next will be easier as you’re held by an Empathi therapist and a proven process. From now on, you’re not alone in this.
Alliance
Feel like you’re on the same team again.
Explore your process and discover a unified narrative where neither of you are wrong or right, “the good one,” or “the bad one.” Learn to approach suffering and conflicts as an “us” problem instead of a “them” problem or a “me” problem.
Empathy
See the hurt and love behind their reactivity.
Strengthen your new narrative by accessing empathy to recognize the root of each other’s reactivity, how much you matter to each other, and what love is. Understand the cycles you get into with the help of your expert Empathi counselor.
Vulnerability
Share the hurt and love behind your reactivity.
Get to know, live in, and share your vulnerable feelings. Then, learn to let in the ways that those feelings are understood and accepted by your partner through the power of the Empathi method and Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy.
Connection
Feel deeply and securely bonded to one another.
Mend your relationship and your wounds through the understanding that you matter to each other. Learn to grieve, show up for, heal, and accept the most vulnerable parts inside of each other without sacrificing those parts in yourselves.
Resilience
Rely on your bond to get out of stuck moments.
Having proved your ability to resolve long-standing issues, heated conflicts, and negative cycles, face your future together with a certainty that you will not only survive those moments, but grow stronger and more connected because of them.
Figs is the creator of the Empathi method and the certification process for Empathi therapists. He’s also Chief Empathi Officer, husband, dad, wounded-healer and was featured on NPR’s All Things Considered as a champion for healthy relationships.
Figs’ life’s mission is to help couples feel more connected.
Teale is a wife, mother, artist and passionate advocate for love relationships. She has a special focus on cultural sensitivity, parenting, and how to prevent and repair affairs and other relationship injuries. Teale loves working with people to facilitate their greater sense of self-acceptance and capacity to experience joy and connection.
NOT THE CITY YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?
More Marriage Counseling Near You
We offer virtual counseling across the nation.
We are passionate about healing relationships.
Our team of couples counselors and marriage therapists can help you reconnect and discover that loving feeling.
- Feel safe to be your true self in life and love.
- Heal from recent or past grief and loss.
- Connect in a deeper and more authentic way.
- Stop having the same argument(s) over and over again.
- Avoid being disappointed in each other so much.
- Recover from infidelity or other breach of trust.
- Get back to more joy, laughter, and fun together.
- Work on your relationship even though your partner doesn't seem available.
Frequently Asked Couples Therapy Questions
How long does couples therapy take?
There’s no quick fix for a soul-level rupture, but there is a process. Most couples see significant shifts when they commit to the initial “de-escalation” phase, usually through consistent weekly sessions.
How much does relationship therapy in Oakland cost?
We are premium-priced therapists because we provide a bespoke, high-end level of service where you hear back directly from us, not an intake coordinator. If our personal fees are outside your budget, we have a trusted network of therapists we’ve personally trained to ensure you still get the “Gold Standard” of care.
What if my partner won’t come?
You can’t force a “Reluctant Lover” to the table, but you can do your own individual sovereignty work. Understanding your side of the “Infinity Loop” often changes the music for both of you.
What is the difference between EFT and other models?
While some models focus on “power dynamics” or “taking sides,” we focus on safety and systems. We steelman your partner’s perspective so you can feel why their reaction as annoying as it might be is actually a biological cry for your love.
What are the divorce statistics for Oakland, CA?
Going through divorce is painful. Many people don’t even want to see it as an option. Most want to avoid it if at all possible, and yet unfortunately people do still get divorced. National divorce rates have been declining over the past 30 years and the trend doesn’t seem to be reversing.
California has one of the lowest divorce rates in the country. World Populated Review data places the divorce rate in California at 9.0%. The divorce rate in Oakland is slightly higher than that, at 10.0%.
Financial stress and marital infidelity rank as the top reasons people get divorced. Communication problems also rank highly. These issues affect people all across California, and at home in Oakland as well. With high-quality marital counseling, couples can see their way past these issues and into a happy relationship.
How many marriage therapists are in Oakland, CA?
The most recent data from BLS (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics) places just over 60,000 people employed nationally as marriage or marriage and family therapists. There are just over 32,000 marriage and family therapists employed in the state of California, the highest number in the nation. BLS includes Oakland in the count for the San Francisco Bay area, which is just over 3,300 marriage and family therapists.
Many sites have a list for “best relationship counseling near me” to help users navigate the many qualified therapists. A search of best marriage therapists in the San Francisco area places Empathi founder, Fiachra Figs O’Sullivan in the top 10 list on Yelp and the top 5 list on GuideDoc.
How do I choose the best marriage counselor near me?
When searching for marriage counseling, you want to be sure to seek out a therapist that has specialized expertise in relationship and marriage therapy.
Get a recommendation. If someone you know has overcome troubles in their marriage, chances are they had a skilled therapist help them through their difficult time. If this is a person you trust, ask them if you can get their therapist’s contact information.
If a recommendation isn’t an option, search online for the best relationship therapists near me. You’ll find hundreds of reviews on the marriage therapists in your area. Therapists who’ve made a positive impact on their clients’ lives will have reviews filled with glowing praise. When you find one that looks right for you, look into their history with the state licensing board to make sure they have a record you can trust.
Couples Therapy That Works In
Oakland
NOT THE CITY YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?
Empathi Couples Counseling Near You
Empathi counselors serve these cities and many more across the U.S.
"With Empathi, Figs has created a fun and creative way to help people feel more connected in their relationship and to become acquainted with the transformational power of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy."
Dr. Sue Johnson
Creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples
As seen in…
It's quick, easy, and
free to get started!
Between the emotional hurdle of accepting you need help and the logistical nightmare of finding a therapist you trust, actually starting couples therapy is the hardest part…
That’s why we keep it simple:
- Pick a date & time for your free consult with an Empathi counselor.
- Show up for the call. Explain your circumstances and needs.
- Book a first session with the right therapist for your price point and situation.
- Show up for your first session.
- Start feeling better!
Don’t Waste Time Feeling Stuck