Living proof of work
By Fiachra "Figs" O'Sullivan
I didn’t come to this work because therapy fascinated me. I came because my own life stopped working the way it looked like it should.From the outside, things were fine. I was capable, articulate, and productive. But inside, my body was always braced. My relationships began to feel like another place I was trying not to fail. The strategies that had carried me through work and life started to cost more than they gave back.Teale and I are husband-and-wife couples therapists because we live inside these questions ourselves. We know what it’s like to be intelligent, devoted, and still miss each other. To manage the world well and struggle at home. Our work helps people slow things down enough for safety, repair, and real connection to return.If your relationship works on paper but feels strained in private, if you’re tired of holding it all together, you’re in the right place.
The Agony of Trying Alone
You see the cracks in the foundation. You’ve suggested therapy maybe pleaded for it only to be met with “I don’t need a stranger telling me what to do” or “You’re the one with the problem.” Now you’re stuck in a secondary “Waltz of Pain”: you’re protesting the disconnection, and their refusal to go to therapy feels like the ultimate abandonment. It feels like they’ve given up, leaving you to carry the weight of the relationship alone.
Systemic Individual Therapy
We are Figs and Teale, LMFTs. We know that many people believe couples therapy is the only way to fix a relationship. We disagree. At Empathi, we use Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) to help you understand your relationship as a system. When one person changes how they respond to triggers, the other partner must change how they react. It’s not about “fixing” you; it’s about giving you the tools to lead the relationship toward safety, even if you start the journey alone.
Why One Person Is Enough to Start
Standard individual therapy often focuses solely on your personal history. Our approach is different. We look at your “Rooster and Chickie” dynamics through the lens of Attachment Theory.
When your partner refuses to go, it’s often because they feel “topped out” or scared that therapy will just be another place where they are “the bad guy.” By working with us individually, you learn to identify your own “protest poison” the ways you might be unintentionally triggering their withdrawal. As you become more securely attached to yourself, you stop providing the “fuel” for the old fights. Often, when the “pursued” partner stops feeling attacked, they finally find the courage to step into the room.
Common Patterns We Help You Break
The Pursuit-Withdrawal Loop: Learning how to ask for your needs without triggering your partner’s “shutter-downer” response.
The “Bad Guy” Narrative: Shifting out of the “I’m the only one trying” story so you can see the cycle for what it is—a mutual trap.
Emotional Resilience: Building a “Secure Base” within yourself so your partner’s moods no longer dictate your internal peace.
Setting Compassionate Boundaries: Learning to say “this isn’t working for me” without it becoming an existential threat to the relationship.
Clinical research shows that 86% of couples improve after a brief period of EFT guidance, and 73% have maintained their improvements when we check back two years later.
Empathi's Methods
are proven to help
Clinical research shows that 86% of couples improve after a brief period of EFT guidance, and 73% have maintained their improvements when we check back two years later.
The Empathi Method for One
Our 3-phase roadmap adapted for the “Solo Partner”:
Acceptance & Alliance: Identifying your specific “Waltz of Pain” and accepting that you cannot control your partner—only your reaction to the cycle.
Empathy & Vulnerability: Uncovering the “little vulnerable chickies” inside you that are driving your reactivity. Learning to hold your own hurt with compassion.
Connection & Resilience: Changing your “steps” in the dance. By showing up differently, you create a new “shining piece of proof” that connection is possible, which often invites your partner back in.
Stop struggling. Book your call now.
Now is the best time to strengthen your relationship
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Can one person really fix a relationship?
A: You can’t “fix” another person, but you can change the system you share. Think of it like a mobile: if you pull one string, every other piece moves. By changing your role in the cycle, you disrupt the negative patterns that keep you both stuck.
Q: What if my partner never agrees to join?
A: Even if they never step foot in a therapist’s office, you will gain clarity and emotional strength. You’ll learn whether the relationship can truly meet your attachment needs or if you are fighting for something that is no longer there. You won’t be “guessing” anymore.
We’re 5 Stars On Yelp!
Why Yelp Chooses Empathi Marriage Counseling
Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) provides our team at Empathi with an understanding of the emotional bonds between partners so that we can identify and work toward moments that strengthen and harmonize that emotional connection.
We use attachment-based frameworks to understand the ways very early bonds inform our adult behavior and choice of partner, as well as the ways our relationship with our partners inform how we understand those early bonds today. Being in a committed partnership then becomes more than just an agreement between two lovers – it is a healing art, a restorative power in the lives of both individuals.
Seeking the safety and containment of professional psychotherapy is a monumental first step on the road to turning painful patterns into a productive partnership. Committed exploration and a willingness to be curious and vulnerable about what is motivating one’s own behavior, reactivity, patterns, and choices can bring about positive change for your relationship – whether it’s steering a particular issue, transitioning toward compromise, or simply bringing about a newly deepened sense of passion and commitment.
But don't take it from us!
Take it from our clients via our direct Yelp page feed.
"With Empathi, Figs has created a fun and creative way to help people feel more connected in their relationship and to become acquainted with the transformational power of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy."
Dr. Sue Johnson
Creator of Emotionally-Focused Therapy for Couples
Empathi Marriage Counseling Near You
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Empathi's
Therapy Services
Find the right counseling services for your situation.
Marriage Counseling
- Recognize the negative cycles you create together.
- Stop being so disappointed in each other.
- Connect in a deeper and more authentic way.
- Get back to experiencing joy, laughter, and fun together.
- Empathize with each other around stressful conflicts
- Learn to weather difficult times together.
Couples Therapy
- Stop having the same argument(s) over and over again.
- Recover from infidelity or other breaches of trust.
- Return to a deeper level of intimacy.
- Work on your relationship even though your partner doesn't seem available.
- Navigate life transitions from a place of connection and understanding of each other.
Couples Therapy
for Parents
- Learn to navigate parenting style differences.
- Get "unstuck" from disconnected routines and repetitive arguments.
- Get back in touch with a genuine appreciation for each other.
- Feel like you're on the same team again.
- Build a secure foundation your kid(s) will come to for support and look to as a model.
Individual Relationship
Therapy Services
- Break out of cyclical relation.ship issues through individual exploration
- Work through the unresolved trauma that's holding you back.
- Discover effective treatments for depression with the right ally and guide.
- Heal stubborn and pervasive self-esteem wounds.
- Become all you can be through a process of self-reclamation.