Built For Love...

Built For Love

Today, Figs goes back to the basics and answers the question what is love?

Certified in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (a clinical approach founded by Dr. Sue Johnson), Figs shares the Attachment Theory perspective on this big question. Love is an emotional bond that we all need. Simply put, we are biologically wired for connection. Figs also references John Bowlby the father of attachment theory to emphasize this very important fact: When it comes to love, you are still a baby and your partner is still a baby because this need for emotional bonding with a primary other is a cradle to the grave´ experience. Figs kindly cautions us from confusing the idea of being childlike in love with being childish. Don´t use the information to judge yourself or your partner. Fighting in relationships is really just protest behavior against feeling disconnected from the one we love. Parking tickets, sex, money—these aren´t the real problems in relationship. We fight because our connection matters.

Find out who you are in love by taking the free Empathi quiz.

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Fiachra "Figs" O’Sullivan is a renowned couples therapist and the founder of Empathi.com. He believes the principles of secure attachment and sound money are the two essential protocols for building a future filled with hope. A husband and dad, he lives in Hawaii, where he’s an outrigger canoe paddler, getting humbled daily by the wind and waves. He’s also incessantly funny, to the point that he should probably see someone about that.

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