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Figs O'Sullivan

  • April 17, 2026

Figs & Teale Birth Prep Part 2...

Figs & Teale Birth Prep Part 2

Today episode highlights the important and final prebirth check in with Figs and his pregnant wife Teale. As a follow up to their first pre-birth episode (released 5/23/2017), the two sit down together one last time to share and understand each other most vulnerable, lovable parts related to this important event. This time, Figs is in the hot seat answering the questions!

  1. What are the feelings and thoughts that come up for you (around labor and birth)?
  2. What is it that you can do for yourself?
  3. What can I as your partner do for you to be there for you?

Remember, these questions can be used in any major relationship issue or event.

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Fiachra "Figs" O’Sullivan is a renowned couples therapist and the founder of Empathi.com. He believes the principles of secure attachment and sound money are the two essential protocols for building a future filled with hope. A husband and dad, he lives in Hawaii, where he’s an outrigger canoe paddler, getting humbled daily by the wind and waves. He’s also incessantly funny, to the point that he should probably see someone about that.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How can couples prepare emotionally for major life transitions like having a baby?+
The secret isn't having a perfect plan. It's creating space for both partners to share their most vulnerable, lovable parts about what's coming. In our birth prep sessions, Teale and I asked each other three simple questions: What feelings come up for you? What can you do for yourself? What can I do for you? These aren't just baby questions. They work for any major transition because they bypass the Versus Illusion (where we see each other as the problem) and focus on connection. When we're Babies in Love facing something scary, we need to feel each other's presence, not solve each other's problems.
Why is it important for both partners to be vulnerable during stressful times?+
Because your nervous system needs proof that you're not alone in this. When only one partner is vulnerable, the other becomes the 'strong one' by default, which creates distance right when you need closeness most. In our prep work, I had to sit in the hot seat too and share my fears about becoming a father. That's how you avoid the Waltz of Pain where one person pursues emotional connection and the other withdraws into competence. Real intimacy happens when both people can be childlike (not childish) about their fears. It's the proof-of-work of empathy that secures your bond.
What questions should couples ask each other before major life events?+
Start with these three: What feelings and thoughts come up for you about this event? What can you do for yourself to feel supported? What can I as your partner do to be there for you? These questions work whether you're having a baby, changing careers, or dealing with loss because they create The Missing Experience, that safe space where you can receive emotional nutrition from each other. Don't rush to solutions. Sit with the feelings first. If you want more guidance on navigating these conversations, try Figlet, our AI relationship coach for personalized support between sessions.