Online grief counseling is talking with a trained professional by video, phone or chat about a death or loss, and for most people the right first step depends on what you need: free peer support (a hospice bereavement program, GriefShare, The Compassionate Friends), a licensed therapist who specializes in grief (through Psychology Today, BetterHelp, Talkspace, Open Path or your insurance), or both. If grief has you thinking about joining the person who died, or about not being here, call or text 988 (the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the US) right now. It is free, confidential and open all night.
It is late. The house is quiet in the wrong way. Your mother, your partner, your child, your friend, your dog died weeks or months ago, and you are still waking at 3am. You go to work on autopilot. The people who brought food in the first week have gone quiet. And tonight you typed this into a search bar because you do not know whether you need a grief counselor, a therapist, a support group, or just someone to tell you that this is what grief feels like.
I’m Figs O’Sullivan, a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT #79062). I spent seventeen years as a couples therapist in San Francisco, and I built Figlet, a coaching tool. It is not therapy and not grief treatment, so judge my bias accordingly; I list it last. The prices below are what I found at the time of writing (October 2026). Prices change, so check each site before you sign up. If tonight you only want to talk through the everyday side of living after a loss while you decide, Figlet Life Coaching is free to start.
Is what I’m feeling normal?
Working through something hard right now?
Talk it through with Figlet right now. Private, judgment free, built on 17 years of couples therapy.
Almost certainly, yes, even the parts that frighten you. Grief is not a mood. It is a body event. When someone you are bonded to dies, your nervous system registers it as a survival-level threat. The part of you that plans and regulates goes partially offline, which is why you cannot concentrate and a song in a supermarket can flatten you.
Underneath it is attachment. From the cradle to the grave, human beings need emotional bonding. If a human infant is left on the savanna without a good enough other, a dingo eats it, so your body is built to protest when the person it is tuned to goes quiet. Grief is that protest: your attachment system calling out, over and over, for someone who cannot answer. In 58,221 completed relationship assessments at Empathi, 33% of people named alone as their deepest feeling when love isn’t working. Loss is that feeling at full volume.
Grief also does not move through stages in order. The famous five stages were never meant to be linear. Grief is not a line. It is a spiral. And it does not always look like sadness. Sometimes it looks like anger at someone who did nothing wrong. Sometimes it looks like numbness, which is the nervous system’s circuit breaker letting in only small doses of the loss at a time. None of that means you are grieving wrong.
What did grief teach me?
When my mother was dying, there was a moment where the doctors said she was gone. And I remember choosing, right then, with everything in me: I am going to keep my heart open. Not turn away. Not numb out. Not retreat into management mode. Stay. Feel it. Let it break me open if it needs to.
I don’t always manage it. The week my dog Zephyr died, I fired off an email I’m still ashamed of. I wasn’t resourced. There was nothing left in the tank. These things grab you hardest exactly when you have the least left to meet them with. I grew up in Irish pubs where men didn’t cry; the songs did it for them. Good grief support gives you a place where you don’t need the song to do it for you.
Grief counselor vs therapist vs support group: what’s the difference?
A grief counselor is someone trained specifically in loss. The title itself is not a license, so check what sits behind it. Some are licensed clinicians, some are hospice bereavement staff, and some hold the Certified in Thanatology (CT) credential from ADEC, the Association for Death Education and Counseling, which requires experience and education in death, dying and bereavement plus a passing exam. A licensed therapist (LMFT, LCSW, LPC, psychologist) can diagnose and treat, which matters if grief has tangled with depression, trauma or drinking. A support group is peers who have lost someone too. It is not treatment, but sitting with others who know often loosens the loneliness.
You do not have to choose one forever. Many people start in a group and add a therapist, or the other way around.
Where can I find free grief counseling or online grief support?
Hospice bereavement programs. If your person died in hospice care, call that hospice. Medicare rules require hospices to make bereavement support available to the family for up to a year after the death, and many programs run about 13 months so the support covers the first anniversary. Many also open groups to the wider community, and local hospitals often run groups too.
GriefShare. Weekly peer groups, many of them now meeting online, which you can search by day and time on griefshare.org. It is Christ-centered, which some people want and others don’t. Attending is generally free; most groups ask about $25 for the workbook, set by the host church, and scholarships are sometimes available.
The Compassionate Friends. For parents, grandparents and siblings after the death of a child. Local chapter meetings are free, and they run virtual support through live online chats and moderated private Facebook groups.
Your job. Many employers include an employee assistance program with a few free counseling sessions. Check your benefits portal.
988. Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, free and around the clock. Overwhelmed at 2am counts.
I wrote a longer guide to what is actually free in online therapy if money is the whole question.
Which online therapy services let me find a grief specialist?
Psychology Today’s directory lets you filter by state, insurance, issue (grief) and online sessions, so you choose an independent licensed therapist yourself. Listings go stale, so confirm before you book.
BetterHelp matches you with a licensed therapist by video, phone or messaging. About $70 to $100 a week, billed every four weeks, and it now works with more than 125 insurance plans in some states. Ask for someone experienced with grief.
Talkspace runs about $69 to $109 a week self-pay and is often covered by insurance, with psychiatry available if depression has moved in alongside the grief.
Open Path Collective is the low-cost route: a one-time $65 membership, then about $40 to $70 a session with a sliding-scale therapist.
The platform is a delivery system. What you are buying is a person. You should leave the first session feeling a little more met than when you walked in. If you don’t after a few sessions, ask for someone else. My fuller comparison is in best online therapy.
Does insurance cover grief counseling?
Often, but carefully. Insurers generally pay when a licensed clinician provides the sessions and there is a diagnosis that meets medical necessity, such as adjustment disorder, depression, anxiety or prolonged grief disorder. Bereavement on its own is usually recorded as a context code that many plans will not reimburse by itself. So ask two questions when you call: is this clinician in network, and how will the sessions be billed. Medicare Part B covers outpatient mental health care from a licensed clinician, with your usual cost share.
What about children and teens?
A child’s body does not grieve a concept. It notices that the parent who is still here has gone away behind their eyes. I use a scene with grieving families: a little kid is playing on the kitchen floor, the phone rings, and mom learns someone has died. Her body is still in the kitchen, but she is gone. The task is not to prevent the going away. The task is to keep coming back. The Dougy Center (the National Grief Center for Children and Families) has hundreds of free tip sheets, activities and podcasts for kids, teens and the adults caring for them, and a locator for grief groups.
I’m in California and want a licensed person
If you live in California and want a licensed clinician by video or in person in San Francisco, that is what we do at Empathi grief counseling.
Where does coaching fit, and where doesn’t it?
Last on this list, and deliberately so: coaching, including Figlet Life Coaching, which I built. Figlet is a coaching tool, not grief therapy and not treatment. It is for the everyday side of living after loss: the colleague who keeps asking if you are “better,” the sister you snapped at (underneath most contempt is grief), the Sunday that will not end. You tell it what happened, it shows you the pattern, and it gives you one line to say. When what you are carrying needs a licensed person, use one of the options above instead.
| Option | Best for | Cost at time of writing | How to start |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hospice bereavement | Families after a hospice death | Free | Call the hospice |
| GriefShare | Structured weekly peer group | Free to attend, workbook about $25 | griefshare.org |
| The Compassionate Friends | Parents and siblings after a child dies | Free | compassionatefriends.org |
| 988 | Crisis or a very bad night | Free | Call or text 988 |
| Psychology Today | Choosing your own grief therapist | Therapist’s fee or your copay | Filter for grief and online |
| BetterHelp | Starting this week, self-pay | About $70 to $100 a week | betterhelp.com |
| Talkspace | Insurance, possible psychiatry | About $69 to $109 a week self-pay | Check insurance first |
| Open Path Collective | Tight budget | $65 once, then $40 to $70 a session | openpathcollective.org |
| Empathi (California) | Licensed grief counseling, video or SF | Check the page | Empathi grief counseling page |
| Figlet Life Coaching | Everyday life after loss, not treatment | Free to start | Link below |
When should you see a grief counselor, and when is it more than grief?
You can see someone at any point; you do not need to earn it by suffering long enough. But some signs mean today, not someday: thoughts of joining the person who died, not eating or sleeping for days, using alcohol or drugs to get through, or still being unable to function many months on. For any of those, call or text 988, go to an emergency room, or contact a licensed clinician now. Prolonged grief disorder has been in the DSM-5-TR since 2022. It is considered when the death was at least a year ago for adults (six months for children and teens) and the grief keeps disabling daily life at home or work. That belongs with licensed care, not a group or an app. And if anyone in your home is hitting you, threatening you, controlling your money or phone, or following you, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 today.
What happens in the first session, and when is online not the right fit?
Usually you tell the story of the death and what life looks like now: sleep, work, who is around you. A good grief counselor will not hurry you toward acceptance. You cannot apply a cognitive solution to a biological problem, so the first session is mostly someone staying with you while it is real. Online works well for most people. It is not the right fit if you are in crisis, if you have no private place to talk, or if being alone with a screen makes you feel more alone. Then find someone in a room.
What can I do tonight?
Send one text to one person who knew them: “I’m having a hard night missing her. Can you call me tomorrow?” Then pick one option above and book or join it before the week is out.
Where to go from here
If you are grieving inside a relationship, know that partners often grieve in opposite ways. One reaches, one goes quiet, and each reads the other as not caring. That is the Waltz of Pain, and grief makes it louder. I wrote about how to deal with grief as a couple, and for the partner standing beside the one who is grieving, how to support a partner through grief. If tonight the hard part is the person next to you, you can start Figlet relationship coaching on your own.
Frequently asked questions
Is online grief counseling effective?
For most people, yes. Many clinicians consider teletherapy comparable to sitting in the room. What decides it is fit with the person you see.
Is there free grief counseling online?
Yes. Hospice bereavement programs, The Compassionate Friends and many GriefShare groups are free or nearly free, and many employers’ assistance programs include a few free sessions. 988 is free any hour.
Does insurance cover grief counseling?
Often, when a licensed, in-network clinician provides it and there is a diagnosis such as adjustment disorder or depression. Ask how sessions will be billed.
What is the difference between a grief counselor and a therapist?
A grief counselor specializes in loss, but the title is not a license. A licensed therapist can diagnose and treat what grief can tangle with, like depression or trauma.
When should you see a grief counselor?
Whenever you want support, and today if you are thinking of joining the person who died, not eating or sleeping, drinking to cope, or still unable to function many months later.
Are online grief support groups free?
Most are. The Compassionate Friends’ online communities are free, and GriefShare groups usually charge only for the workbook.
You do not have to survive it alone. If you want help with the everyday side of that tonight, Figlet is a coaching tool I built: tell it what happened, it shows you the pattern and gives you one line to say. It is not therapy. Figlet Life Coaching is free to start tonight.
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Figs O'Sullivan
Founder · EFT couples therapist
“What I would tell you at 10pm, if I could.”
