Better Methods. Better Lovin.
Better Methods. Better Outcomes. Better Lovin.
Building Your Sovereign Ground Before "I Do"
I created every one of these responses by taking the specific hopes and fears of engaged couples, putting them one by one into my library of work, and then shaping them to ensure they hold the same raw, emotional, and Irish-grounded truth you’d hear sitting across from me in a session.
Why Pre-Marriage Counseling Matters (The Time Machine)
Most couples approach their wedding day thinking success means the absence of fighting. But here is the truth: if you love each other, you will scare each other. If you matter to each other, you will hurt each other.
Premarital counseling isn’t about checking a box; it’s about visiting your “Time Machine”. It’s about understanding the emotional architecture you inherited from your families before you start building your own cathedral. We help you move from two separate subjective stories into one shared “We” narrative.
We are extremely selective about which therapists are invited to join our practice.
Each of our therapists are trained to use our proprietary blend of the Empathi Method and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). We’ll help you understand both your intrapersonal and interpersonal struggles in a way that guides you to communicate better, repair after fights, and feel more deeply and securely connected.
Clinical research shows that 86% of couples improve after a brief period of EFT guidance, and 73% have maintained their improvements when we check back two years later.
Our Approach
The Empathi Protocol for Engaged Couples
Teale and I are a husband-and-wife team. We don’t just teach premarital therapy; we model it. Our work is built on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) the gold standard of connection but with our proprietary Empathi “sprinkles”.
We move you through the Making-a-C Process:
- Identify: Noticing when you are affected and naming the shame story.
- Connect: Dropping into the vulnerability beneath your “protector” parts.
- Empathize: Creating $Empathi^2$ compassion for me, for you, and for us.
Stop struggling. Book your call now.
Why Choose Empathi for Premarital Therapy Online?
- The Body is the First Ledger: We don’t just talk about your future; we help your nervous system feel that you are truly safe with your partner.
- Proof of Work: Real love isn’t a feeling you have; it’s the work you do. We provide practical rituals like the 15-Minute Date to ensure your connection remains a “Sound Store of Value”.
- No Pathologizing: We don’t see “problems” to be fixed; we see nervous systems trying to survive. Whether you are a Relentless Lover or a Reluctant Lover, you both make sense.
Do I need Empathi marriage counseling?
Often, when two people first get married, the world seems full of possibilities and adventure. There isn’t a care in the world, and they’re going to take it by storm. There’s certainly no need for something like pre-marriage counseling, since nothing will get in the way of them being the perfect couple. But sometimes, the marriage goes well at first, but time and the demands of life add to an ever-widening rift until one day the gap has expanded so far it doesn’t seem like there is any way to bridge it.
If you feel as though you’re standing at the edge of that gap, we’re here to help you reach each other again. Expert marriage counselors at Empathi can give you the tools to cross the expanse that keeps you emotionally apart. Contact us today so that we can help you begin building that bridge back to each other.
Common Areas We Explore
- The Sibling Society: Transitioning from individual survival to true adulthood and partnership.
- Financial Sovereignty: Understanding how the “Fiat” system affects your anxiety and how to build “Sound Love” together.
- The Middle Apartment: Finding the sweet spot where the pursuer can descend and the withdrawer can emerge to meet in the middle.
Is it hard to start pre-marriage counseling?
Premarital counseling can seem intimidating if you’ve never been to counseling or couples counseling before, or if you’ve had a negative experience in the past. Seeking counseling is a proactive step for couples preparing for marriage, but it does require a time commitment, and busy couples may find it difficult to make the time. Additionally, not every couple may be able to access premarital counseling due to financial constraints or lack of available services. However, we at Empathi know counseling before marriage can not only be emotionally rewarding and even funny, it’s also the best first step in a healthy life-long commitment. Premarital counseling has also been shown to help reduce the divorce rate by addressing potential issues early and strengthening the relationship.
So many couples go into marriage thinking they'll never hurt each other.
They think that as long as they are skilled communicators, know each other’s love languages, and can compromise, they’ll be too good to each other to fight, feel rejected, or feel abandoned, or experience hurt feelings during difficult conversations.
But surface-level solutions and counseling styles simply cannot give you the tools to make relationship work for the rest of your lives.
What is premarital counseling and why do I need it?
Premarital counseling helps couples prepare for the next big step in their life together.
Under the guidance of a skilled professional, you and your partner can develop a deeper understanding of each other’s inner worlds, build skills that will last you and your partner a lifetime. Premarital counseling helps couples identify and address relationship issues and significant issues before they become major problems, ensuring a stronger foundation for marriage and reducing the risk of future conflicts.
Here's how we make it easy:
- We're experienced professionals who know how to make you feel welcome the moment you walk in the door.
- We offer a fun and simple quiz to ease you into the process and help you narrow down the topics you want to discuss.
- We all fear the unknown. Our podcast, Come Here to Me, offers fun insights into how relationship counseling sessions go.
Here are the ways we make it easy:
- Our licensed counselors are experts at making you feel welcome.
- Empathi eases you into the process by providing a quiz that gets at the center of what needs to change in your marriage.
- Our podcast offers insights into what to expect from marriage counseling sessions, to directly demonstrate that there's nothing to be afraid of.
Do I need Empathi Premarital Counseling?
Congrats! You’ve reached a pivotal point in your relationship and you’ll soon be entering into a phase that’s unlike anything you’ve experienced up to this point and unlike anything you expected. Marriage can be a rewarding and fulfilling adventure. It has its ups and downs anything worth doing is going to but when you and your partner grow closer, standing in solidarity with each other, it’s easy to see that it’s worth it. Marriage is also a serious commitment. You merge your life with that of another person, becoming a unit legally and as partners in life. As such, marriage also has its own unique challenges.
Couples who attend premarital counseling tend to have longer-lasting, more fulfilling marriages.
Supervised by Teale Taxis, LMFT#100084
Supervised by Fiachra Figs O'Sullivan, LMFT #79062
Figs is the creator of the Empathi method and the certification process for Empathi therapists. He’s also Chief Empathi Officer, husband, dad, wounded-healer and was featured on NPR’s All Things Considered as a champion for healthy relationships.
Figs’ life’s mission is to help couples feel more connected.
Teale is a wife, mother, artist and passionate advocate for love relationships. She has a special focus on cultural sensitivity, parenting, and how to prevent and repair affairs and other relationship injuries. Teale loves working with people to facilitate their greater sense of self-acceptance and capacity to experience joy and connection.
NOT THE CITY YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?
More Marriage Counseling Near You
We offer virtual counseling across the nation.
We are passionate about healing relationships.
Our team of couples counselors and marriage therapists can help you reconnect and discover that loving feeling.
- Feel safe to be your true self in life and love.
- Heal from recent or past grief and loss.
- Connect in a deeper and more authentic way.
- Stop having the same argument(s) over and over again.
- Avoid being disappointed in each other so much.
- Recover from infidelity or other breach of trust.
- Get back to more joy, laughter, and fun together.
- Work on your relationship even though your partner doesn't seem available.
FAQs for Pre-Marriage Counseling Online
Is online premarital counseling as effective as in-person?
Absolutely. While there is no replacement for face-to-face contact, our online platform is designed to facilitate deep, transformational experiences through the screen. It allows you to do the work in the very place where your life happens.
How much does premarital counseling cost?
One can expect to pay around the same for pre-marriage counseling as for standard couples therapy. We offer premium, bespoke service with direct access to experienced therapists. If our fees are out of reach, we have a network of trusted, Empathi-trained therapists with various price points.
What if we aren’t “fighting” yet?
That is the best time to start. Premarital therapy is about “scrummage before game day”. It’s about building the internal capacity to handle the “Waltz of Pain” before it spinning you dizzy.
What will we actually do in sessions?
We skip the “M&Ms” (generic advice) and go for the “Salad” (the real work). You’ll learn to “Time Travel” into your hurts, name your needs, and create the “Missing Experiences” of comfort and care that will anchor your marriage for decades.
Mental Health and Premarital Counseling
Mental health professionals play a crucial role in helping couples lay the groundwork for a healthy relationship before marriage. Through structured counseling sessions, couples are given a safe and supportive environment to openly discuss their concerns, expectations, and dreams for the future. These sessions, often led by experienced marriage and family therapists, are designed to help partners develop essential conflict resolution skills and healthy communication skills two of the most important aspects of a successful marriage.
For many couples, the convenience of online counseling makes it easier than ever to attend premarital counseling sessions, even with demanding schedules. Online therapy offers the same level of expertise and support as in-person sessions, allowing couples to build a strong foundation for their relationship from anywhere.
What are the divorce statistics for Menlo Park, CA?
Nobody thinks about divorce when they first get married, and typically people do their best to avoid it, but unfortunately divorces still happen. However, national divorce rates have been on a decline over the past three decades, and the trend appears to be continuing.
Currently California doesn’t provide any exact divorce statistics. However, this information can be aggregated and interpolated from the statistics of the various cities and counties that track this information. World Populated Review data places the divorce rate in California among the lowest in the country at 9.0%. The most recent data places Menlo Park, California at 12% for divorced or separated couples, which is considerably higher than the state average.
There are many reasons for divorce. Financial stress and disagreements about how to spend money is the most common reason. Marital infidelity and lack of communication and intimacy are also frequently reported as a primary cause for divorce. These problems impact people across the nation, across California, and in Menlo Park. But these are all issues that can be resolved and healed with quality marital counseling.
How many marriage therapists are in Menlo Park, CA?
The most recent data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics places just over 60,000 people employed nationally as marriage or marriage and family therapists. There are just over 32,000 marriage and family therapists employed in the state of California, which is the highest number in the nation. There are no statistics on the number of marriage therapists in Menlo Park, CA or San Mateo county. However, an online search offers hundreds of results for “marriage and relationship therapists near me,” and a number of sites have lists for “best relationship counseling near me.”
A search of best marriage therapists in the San Francisco Bay area places Empathi founder, Fiachra Figs O’Sullivan in the top 10 list on Yelp and the top 5 list on GuideDoc.
How do I choose the best marriage counselor near me?
After you’ve decided to seek out marital therapy in Menlo Park, be sure to find a professional that specializes in marriage counseling. You’ll benefit best from someone who has specific and extensive experience in the field.
A recommendation is a good place to start. If you know someone that you trust who’s overcome troubles in their own marriage with the help of a skilled counselor, ask if you can get the information regarding their counselor. You can also search online for reviews of the best marriage therapists in your area. The best marriage counselors will have outstanding reviews and a lot of positive comments.
Don’t stop at an online search. Once you’ve found a relationship therapist that looks like they’ll suit your needs, look into their history with the state licensing board. Be sure that they have a record you feel comfortable with.
We are passionate about healing relationships.
- Prevent yourselves from the same argument(s) over and over again.
- Weather infidelity or other breaches of trust.
- Work on your relationship even when your partner doesn't seem available.
Pre-Marital Counseling That Works
NOT THE CITY YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?
Empathi Couples Counseling Near You
Empathi counselors serve these cities and many more across the U.S.
"With Empathi, Figs has created a fun and creative way to help people feel more connected in their relationship and to become acquainted with the transformational power of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy."
Dr. Sue Johnson
Creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples
As seen in…
Why Yelp Chooses Empathi Premarital Counseling
Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) provides our team at Therapy With Figs with an understanding of the emotional bonds between partners so that we can identify and work toward moments that strengthen and harmonize that emotional connection.
Seeking the safety and containment of professional psychotherapy is a monumental first step on the road to turning painful patterns into a productive partnership. Committed exploration and a willingness to be curious and vulnerable about what is motivating one’s own behavior, reactivity, patterns, and choices can bring about positive change for your relationship – whether it’s steering a particular issue, transitioning toward compromise, or simply bringing about a newly deepened sense of passion and commitment.
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