Your need for love is not a weakness....

Your need for love is not a weakness.

Relationship Tip #8

I promised you 10 truths and we’re down to the final three…

Relationship Tip #8: Your need for love is not a weakness.

The need to be bonded with others is woven into the fabric of your being. It’s a feature, not a bug.

Think about it.

Millions of years of evolution has wired our organism for its optimum chance of survival. As social animals we’ve needed a parent/partner/family/community because without our tribe, we’d be lunchmeat! Just because modern man forgets this doesn’t make it any less true.

It’s appropriate to feel pain when you don’t feel connected because you’re hardwired to NEED to be bonded with others. Stop seeing it as a weakness! If you didn’t feel these things, biologically speaking you’d be in danger of going the way of the Dodo bird.

Don’t fight your biology. Surrender to the fact that you need people and they need you.

This physiological ability to feel pain and long for connection when you are emotionally wounded is the essence of your humanity.

Instead of resisting or suppressing feelings of rejection or abandonment, I want you to recognize it for what it is — a call for greater connection with your true other, your family, and your friends. It’s the gooey little creature inside you that needs a primary other to love you, prioritize you, and be satisfied with your enoughness.

This is why you need to learn how to soften into your vulnerability and reconnect with your partner.

Connection is still the antidote to much of our pain— physical, emotional, and even spiritual (if you are so inclined).

Take two minutes to read your Self-Discovery Report once you have taken the Empathi Quiz— knowing and accepting your vulnerability in love is an essential step toward having a successful relationship!

Be kind to yourself and each other,

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Figs is the creator of the Empathi method and the certification process for Empathi coaches. He’s also Chief Empathi Officer, husband, dad, wounded-healer and was featured on NPR’s All Things Considered as a champion for healthy relationships. Figs’ life’s mission is to help couples feel more connected.

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