Most people know what they need from their partner. The problem is that every time they try to say it, it comes out as criticism. Learn how to communicate your needs in a way your partner can actually hear, from a therapist with 16+ years of experience.
Contempt in relationships is the single greatest predictor of divorce. Learn what contempt actually looks like, what’s underneath it (usually pain), and how to dismantle it before it destroys your partnership.
After 16 years of working with couples, I can tell you that marriage problems are rarely about what they seem. The real fight is never about the dishes, the money, or who said what. It’s about the bond. Here’s what’s actually going on and what to do about it.
Emotional safety in relationships is the foundation underneath everything else. Without it, communication tools are useless and intimacy is impossible. Here’s what a couples therapist with 16 years of experience wants you to know about building the safety your relationship needs.
Stonewalling is not cruelty or the silent treatment. It is a nervous system flooding response. Here is what is actually happening inside the person who shuts down during conflict, why it is so painful for both partners, and how to interrupt the pattern.
The silent treatment in relationships is one of the most misunderstood patterns in couples therapy. After 16 years of working with couples, therapist Figs O’Sullivan explains the spectrum from self-protection to manipulation, why silence hurts so much, and how to break the cycle.
Quick answer: Defensiveness is not stubbornness or ego. It is a biological survival response. When
Most conflict resolution advice treats the content of the fight as the problem. After 16 years of couples therapy, I can tell you the content is a red herring. Here is what actually works.
Passive aggressive behavior is not a character flaw. It is a biological survival strategy. Here are 7 signs to recognize, what the Compass of Shame reveals about why your partner cannot just stop, and the co-regulation framework that actually works.
By Figs O’Sullivan, LMFT | Updated April 2026 | 18 min read I spent two
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