You want a number. I understand that. You are sitting with a relationship that is hurting, and you want to know how long this is going to take. Is this a few weeks? A few months? A year? How long does couples therapy take to work, honestly? It is one of the most common questions […]
How Long Does Couples Therapy Take? What the Research Shows Read More »
The hardest part of couples therapy is not the therapy itself. It is making the call. It is sitting in the car in the parking lot, or hovering over the Zoom link, wondering if this was a mistake. Wondering what the therapist will think of you. Wondering if your partner is going to say something
What to Expect in Your First Couples Therapy Session Read More »
You have probably used the terms interchangeably. Most people do. “We need couples therapy” and “we need marriage counseling” feel like the same sentence. But if you are trying to find the right help for your relationship, understanding couples therapy vs marriage counseling actually matters. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (AAMFT-credentialed) in
Couples Therapy vs. Marriage Counseling: What’s the Difference? Read More »
When a couple comes into my office after an affair, there is a frantic energy in the room. The affair recovery process has not even started yet, but both people are already exhausted. Usually, the partner who had the affair is desperate to fix it. They are saying things like, “I am so sorry. It
Affair Recovery: 3 Proven Phases That Actually Work, From a Couples Therapist Read More »
You have been fighting about the same thing for months. Maybe years. Something is off, and you both know it. You have probably searched “how much does couples therapy cost” not because you are cheap, but because you are trying to figure out if this is even possible for you right now. I get it.
How Much Does Couples Therapy Cost? A Transparent Guide Read More »
It’s late. You can’t sleep. You’re lying next to someone who feels like a stranger, or maybe you’re alone because one of you left the room after another fight that went nowhere. And you’re asking yourself the question that brought you here: is my relationship worth saving? I’m not going to give you a checklist.
How to Know If Your Relationship Is Worth Saving Read More »
By Figs O’Sullivan, LMFT In a typical first couples therapy session, I spend about 45 minutes doing something that looks like conversation but is actually assessment. I’m mapping the cycle. I’m identifying each partner’s attachment strategy. I’m listening for the Protector Parts, the shame responses, the triggers that neither person can see because they’re too
By Figs O’Sullivan, LMFT Let me start with what might seem like a strange admission for a therapist: not everyone needs to be in my office. Not everyone can be in my office. And the idea that the only path to a better relationship runs through a therapist’s door is both clinically inaccurate and financially
Self-Directed Couples Therapy: What Works, What Doesn’t, and What Changes Everything Read More »
By Figs O’Sullivan, LMFT You promised yourself it wouldn’t happen again. You even had a plan. Stay calm. Don’t raise your voice. Use the techniques from that article you read. And then your partner said the thing, or gave you the look, or went quiet in that specific way, and within sixty seconds you were
Why You Keep Having the Same Fight (And What EFT Research Says About It) Read More »
By Figs O’Sullivan, LMFT You’ve probably taken an attachment style quiz online. Maybe you’ve been told you’re “anxious attached” or “avoidant” or, if you’re lucky, “secure.” And maybe that label felt validating for about five minutes before you realized it didn’t actually tell you what to do differently in your marriage. That’s because most popular
Attachment Theory and Marriage: What the Research Actually Means for Your Relationship Read More »