Figs O'Sullivan

Figs O'Sullivan

Top 5 Science-Based Relationship Quizzes

There’s nothing like getting a fix of personal insight or discovering a new way of looking at yourself from a fun online quiz.

But when it comes to relationship quizzes, the kinds of insights we’re looking for carry a kind of significance that “Which Yellow Jackets character are you?” does not.

(Unless you really, really like Yellow Jackets. Which I do.)

Each of these quizzes are rooted in or inspired by well-established psychological frameworks which are themselves backed by empirical evidence.

The questions are good, the user experience is pleasant, and the free (usually email-activated) results are actually worth the effort.

Still, it’s important to note that self-report style questionnaires—particularly distilled into quick internet quizzes—are inherently limited

The opportunity for misunderstanding presents itself at every level: your interpretation of yourself, your interpretation of the questions, your interpretation of the results—and that’s before we even get to the creation of the quiz itself!

For this reason, these kinds of relationships quizzes are not included on this list:

  • “Will my relationship last?”
  • “Should I break up with my partner?”
  • “What are my relationship’s red flags?”
  • “Is my relationship toxic?”

These are topics best explored with the help of a therapist—as a couple or through individual therapy.

If you are experiencing or think you may be experiencing domestic abuse, please reach out for help online or by phone at https://www.thehotline.org or 1-800-799-7233.

The quizzes on this list can, however, serve an important function—getting you and your partner to be curious about yourselves, each other, and your relationship.

So let’s start with a quiz designed specifically to do just that.

Yep, that’s our quiz. It’s really good.

You’ll answer 13 questions about how you see yourself and your partner during negative cycles (fights). The questions are straightforward, but it asks you to do some reflecting.

After submitting your email, you’ll gain access to a personalized 18-page Self-Discovery Report which identifies which type of lover you are, breaks down your side of the cycle, and offers helpful insights.

Once you’ve completed the quiz, you can invite your partner to take it and unlock the 25-page Relationship Report, also for free.

You also get a cute little monster pal who shares your Empathi love type.

Why this couples quiz is useful

The Empathi Discovery Quiz is rooted in Emotionally-Focused Therapy, a highly effective, systematic, empirically validated therapeutic approach for couples.

Empathi’s reports lay out the relationship cycle EFT has identified with the information the user provides and attributes Emotionally-Focused Therapy’s “Pursuer” and “Withdrawer” to the user in the form of “Relentless Lover” and “Reluctant Lover.”

"With Empathi, Figs has created a fun and creative way to help people feel more connected in their relationship and to become acquainted with the transformational power of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy."

Dr. Sue Johnson

Creator of Emotionally-Focused Therapy for Couples

Few pop culture psyche concepts are as ubiquitous as “Love Languages,” coined—and trademarked!—by Dr. Gary Chapman in his 1992 book “The 5 Love Languages.”

And yet, there are very few available quizzes that are close to as smooth and informative as Dr. Chapman’s own The Love Language™ quiz on 5lovelanguages.com (likely due to the concept’s trademarked status).

This relationship test features 31 questions and a follow-up to break a tie, if applicable.

Results feature a graph for what percentage each of “The 5 Love Languages” appeals to you, your primary love language, and a mid-sized description for each of the languages.

Why this couples quiz is useful

Understanding the way your partner seeks and is able to receive signals of love, and vice versa, may provide potential pathways for deeper connection.

"This research provided some support for teaching people in romantic relationships how to learn and use their partner’s preferred love languages well. [...]

…partners who perceived that their partners were using their preferred love language (i.e., words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch) well reported greater love and relationship satisfaction. This supports Chapman’s (2015) claim that partners hope to see certain love language behaviors from their partners and, when they do, they fill their love tanks and experience greater love and relationship satisfaction."

Truity is a website specifically for quality personality quizzes with some research behind them, so it’s not a huge surprise that their Love Style quiz is my second favorite on this list.

The Love Styles Test has 34 questions—multiple choice and ranked choice (a nice touch)—proposing different scenarios and asking what you would feel, prefer, or how you would act.

Results offer a preference-ranking bar graph, a paragraph defining each style, and a preview of your full results that discusses your primary love style.

The seven Love Styles they describe are Activity, Appreciation, Emotional, Financial, Intellectual, Physical, and Practical.

Why this couples quiz is useful

Like Chapman’s “Love Languages,” Love Styles give partners the opportunity to understand the flavors of love that resonate with them and the kinds of love their partner will recognize. Partners then have the opportunity to successfully recognize and offer those differing bids for affection.

The difference in Love Styles lies in the level of nuance and room to explore your relationship with your partner beyond the 5 languages you’re already familiar with.

"The concept of love languages was created by couples counselor Dr. Gary Chapman, who observed that people differ in what sort of interactions make them feel loved. Dr. Chapman described 5 love languages, however our research on over 500,000 volunteers indicates there are actually seven distinct ways of showing love."

Attachment theory, developed by psychoanalyst John Bowlby in the 60s, has become a pillar of contemporary psychology and the foundation for many psychological frameworks, such as Emotionally-Focused Therapy.

Your Personality’s Attachment Style quiz is perhaps the least visually pleasing experience on this list, but the results they provide more than make up for it.

This quiz contains 43 questions about your relationships on a scale of “Strongly Agree” to “Strongly Disagree.”

The results provide brief explanations of the four attachment styles—secure, fearful-avoidant, dismissing-avoidant, and preoccupied—a chart plotting four different attachment relationships and your general attachment style, and comparative charts for each which visualize your score vs. the average survey-taker.

You can also save the URL to refer back to your results later or to exchange with your partner.

Why this quiz is useful for couples

A person’s relationship with their primary attachment figure(s) informs their adult relationships—how “securely attached” or bonded they feel and the particular worldviews, self-perceptions, and self-protective behaviors that form around “insecure” attachments.

Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver first conceptualized romantic love as an attachment-significant process in 1987.

"In line with the hypothesis, secure lovers described their most important love experience as especially happy, friendly, and trusting. They emphasized being able to accept and support their partner despite the partner's faults. Moreover, their relationships tended to endure longer: 10.02 years, on the average, compared with 4.86 years for the anxious/ambivalent subjects and 5.97 years for the avoidant subjects."

Understanding your and your partner’s attachment style gives you the opportunity to build a more secure bond with each other, which in turn fosters a more secure relationship.

Gyfted‘s quizzes may be more geared toward career enrichment and team building than they are explicitly couples quizzes, but their quick Emotional Intelligence Test is a decent intro to the broader concept of emotional intelligence and great prompt for discussion with your partner.

There are 30 questions prompting you to self-report your ability to perform certain emotional-intelligence-related tasks.

Results include a graph of your score for each of the skills they’ve identified and a brief description of what your rating means for each skill.

The categories are Utility Of Emotion, Social Awareness, Emotional Extensity, Self Presentation, and Emotional Awareness.

These appear to be an interpretation of the Baron-Cohen Empathy Quotient questionnaire and the 4 quadrants of Emotional Intelligence outlined by Daniel Goleman—Self-Management, Social Awareness, Relationship Management, and Self-Awareness. 

They also provide you with a shareable link, meaning you and your partner can more easily complete the quiz together and review your results!

Why this quiz is useful for couples

Emotional intelligence is associated with higher relationship quality among couples, across cultures.

"Participants with higher self-reported EI reported significantly higher relationship satisfaction than those participants with lower self-rated EI. Furthermore, those participants who rated their partners higher in EI also reported higher scores for relationship satisfaction. However, this study only looked at self-reports, and it is unknown whether the partner rating would have differed from the partner’s self-reported rating."

Two women, a couple, are on a bed, smiling at each other as one of them holds a laptop. They're taking a relationship quiz.

This is just the beginning.

These quizzes are designed to open up your exploration of yourself, your relationship, and certain psychological concepts. They can’t fulfill your understanding of them entirely.

Relationship quizzes can be fun and insightful, but serious questions about how to navigate, improve, or understand your relationship are best discovered with the help of a qualified couples therapist.

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