As a couples and relationship therapist, this question is foremost in my mind much of the time. It’s a question I’ve found great value in answering for myself, and it’s a pivotal question for each of us to answer in order to understand what is most important to us. Answering it also reveals what frightens […]
Marisa Goudy in Love Read More »
On today episode, Figs welcomes a very special guest, Teale Taxis, aka the better half in Figs’ marriage. Teale is also a San Francisco based Couples Therapist and the mother of their 3 year old daughter. She is due with their 2nd child (a boy) this summer. Together they share their own struggles and moments
The Magic is in the Repair Read More »
It’s true that I’ve been practicing psychotherapy for years, but I have never, ever seen a patient. It’s just not how I view the people who come to me for help. They aren’t sick with a disease that I can cure; I’m not the holder of all wisdom who can diagnose, treat, and send them
I Don’t Treat “Patients” Read More »
One bit of advice that has emerged from the last 50 years of the personal development movement is to ask for our needs to be met. As a therapist, this drives me crazy. Of course, it’s not the asking that’s bad. It’s the how of it that mucks it all up. Because in the very
Stop Asking for Your Needs to Be Met Read More »
When our partner behaves like an ass, we think they should own their wrongdoing and deliver an apology forthwith—preferably carved in stone and mounted on a plaque for all to see. That seems fair. I mean, we just want responsibility taken, apologies given, and our needs met, am I right? What’s their problem?! Here’s the
Sometimes You’re an Asshole Read More »
I made this video to give prospective clients, and anyone curious about attachment-focused couples therapy, a chance to get a taste of how I, and others like me, help people feel more connected in their relationship. I only have so many hours in the week that I can actually sit with couples – I wish
Monogamy isn’t the only way to live, but for many of us it’s the best path to the comfort, sense of belonging, and good health and longevity we deeply desire. A polyamorous relationship can provide those things, but it also dramatically ups the ante for those scary feelings we all experience when wounded in love.
Is Monogamy the ONLY Way to be Truly Happy? Read More »
In the spirit of not waiting to be perfect to get in front of a camera I did my first online video interview last week on the Blab platform about how I work with people in couples counseling. The interviewer is my friend and life coach Carla Chrzan. I was super nervous beforehand. Some of
Stop Having The Same Fight Over and Over Again Read More »
Yes, it’s not about the nail. It’s about the system we create together when I feel abandoned or rejected and protest or withdraw when I perceive you (rightly or wrongly) as not being there for me in the ways that makes me feel securely connected/emotionally bonded to you. This in turn brings you to your
We fight because our connection matters Read More »