When I first started out as a therapist, I had a pretty staunch resistance to working with couples. In my view at the time, couples therapists were the ultra enlightened ones because who else would be so insane as to willingly march into the tense storm of a couple at the height of their dysfunction?! […]
How EFT and Empathi Process Woke Me Up as a Single Woman Read More »
Relationship Tip #1 Here’s the first of my 10 relationship truths to help you love better. Relationship Tip #1: Stop trying to shake off your uncomfortable feelings. When you’re feeling sad … or lonely … or rejected … or powerless, stop employing whatever your strategy has always been to squash it and instead give some attention to the feeling
Stop trying to shake off your uncomfortable feelings. Read More »
Clients often ask Figs this important question when initially reaching out for relationship help. His advice: “Be persistent, but skillful.”
How do I get my partner to couples counseling? Read More »
When I say things like fighting is a good thing or conflict is normal, I mean that if you hurt emotionally when you experience disconnection it means you still love each other. On the other side of conflict is an opportunity to love up those vulnerable parts of each other that surfaced during disconnection.
5 Things to Look for in a Couples Therapist The majority of us fall into love with nothing more than the instincts of a newborn infant: I need you! Love me this way! And then we pledge to love and honor each other unconditionally until one of us dies. What could possibly go wrong? I
Considering Couples Counseling? Read More »
Figs returns with his third installment of the Who Are You in Love Series. This time, he is joined by couple Ben and Jen and their 4 week old baby in arms. Together they vulnerably open up to the deep and important questions about love. Is there a moment that stands out for you when
Ben and Jen in Love Read More »
Figs and Teale are 10 days past their due date, anxiously awaiting the home birth of their second child, Kian. Together they share their vulnerabilities and experiences during this time while also waiting for their favorite San Francisco Friday night treat—Ramen! As couples therapists, they recognize that during times of stress or conflict, people in
Today episode highlights the important and final prebirth check in with Figs and his pregnant wife Teale. As a follow up to their first pre-birth episode (released 5/23/2017), the two sit down together one last time to share and understand each other most vulnerable, lovable parts related to this important event. This time, Figs is
Figs & Teale Birth Prep Part 2 Read More »
In short, love is an emotional bond. It not optional; it part of our biology, affirms Figs in today episode about Attachment Styles. Have you ever thought about how we are useless when we are born? We can´t do anything for ourselves. Our ability to be emotionally bonded is an essential evolutionary solution to our
Emotional Bonding Styles Read More »
In this episode, Ben shares his most vulnerable moments and mistakes in love, from the trail of wreckage behind him, to the beautiful sky that awaits ahead. The conversion runs deep, acknowledging the dark and light of intimacy in all relationships. Portland based naturopathic doctor, Ben Reebs, joins Figs as the second guest in the