Your attachment style is a biological survival strategy formed before you could speak. Understanding the Relentless Lover, the Reluctant Lover, and how childhood patterns shape adult love is the highest-leverage thing you can do for your relationship.
Most conflict resolution advice treats the content of the fight as the problem. After 16 years of couples therapy, I can tell you the content is a red herring. Here is what actually works.
By Figs O’Sullivan, LMFT | April 2026 I have been a couples therapist for over
Most of what you have been told about forgiveness is wrong. A couples therapist with 16 years of experience shares the frameworks that actually work, including the Never Forget / Never Forgiven loop, One-Way Repair, and the wound-to-scar transformation.
A licensed marriage therapist with 16+ years of experience shares the exact frameworks he uses with couples on the brink, including the Waltz of Pain, the 101-to-104 fever metaphor, and why your marriage might not be over even when it feels like it is.
Passive aggressive behavior is not a character flaw. It is a biological survival strategy. Here are 7 signs to recognize, what the Compass of Shame reveals about why your partner cannot just stop, and the co-regulation framework that actually works.
Enmeshment is not a character flaw. It is your nervous system doing what it was designed to do. Here are 7 signs you are in an enmeshed relationship, why your biology chose this pattern, and the framework for moving from fusion to genuine intimacy.
Your relationship anxiety is not a malfunction. It is a message from the deepest, oldest part of your nervous system. After 16 years of working with couples, here is what it is actually trying to tell you.
Your relationship anxiety is not a malfunction. It is a message from the deepest, oldest part of your nervous system. After 16 years of working with couples, here is what it is actually trying to tell you.
Jealousy in relationships is not a character flaw. It is your nervous system protecting the most important bond in your life. A couples therapist with 16+ years of experience explains what jealousy really means, and what to do about it.
Subscribe to the newsletter and get tips from Figs and the Empathi team!
