Your anxious attachment style is not a character flaw. It is a biological survival program. After 16 years of working with couples, here is what I know about the pursuer pattern, the biology of anxious seeking, and what real healing looks like.
Trust is not a decision. It is a felt sense of safety in your nervous system. After 16 years of working with couples, here is what the real process of rebuilding trust looks like, how long it takes, and what most people get wrong.
Quick answer: Vulnerability is not sharing frustration or disappointment. Those are protector emotions. Real vulnerability
Codependency in relationships is not a character flaw. It is a survival strategy that made perfect sense in the environment where it was born. Here is what it actually looks like, why the standard advice makes it worse, and what real healing requires.
Most relationship advice treats emotional intelligence as a communication skill. After 16 years as a couples therapist, Figs O Sullivan explains why real EQ lives in your nervous system, not your vocabulary, and introduces the three levels of empathy that actually repair relationships.
Growing apart is not a diagnosis. It is a symptom. After 16 years of couples therapy, here is what is actually happening when you feel disconnected from your partner, and the path back to real connection.
After 16 years of working with couples, here are the 9 signs of a healthy relationship that most articles miss. It is not about never fighting. It is about how you come back.
What really happens in couples therapy? A licensed therapist with 16+ years of experience shares what to expect, how to find the right therapist, and why most advice about couples therapy is wrong.
After 16 years as an LMFT, I have come to see controlling behavior in relationships through a very different lens. Most controlling behavior is not about power. It is about terror. Here is what your partner is actually trying to tell you.
Your attachment style is a biological survival strategy formed before you could speak. Understanding the Relentless Lover, the Reluctant Lover, and how childhood patterns shape adult love is the highest-leverage thing you can do for your relationship.
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